Memories

'Mum, can I wear eyeshadow to school?'
My twelve year old daughter was growing up too fast.
'I don't think so darling.'
'It's only a white sparkely (no such word, but I love it) one, it won't even show.'
'There's no point in wearing it then, is there?' I said, hoping she would forget all about it.
'But Mum, you don't understand, everybody wears it.'
'That doesn't mean you have to,' I said, 'you wear it at weekends and in the holidays, but school is a no no, it's not a fashion show.'
She went off in a sulk and I started to feel really guilty. But then it occurred to me, what I had done, when my Mother wouldn't let me wear platform shoes to school.
I borrowed a pair off a friend. We kept them in our lockers. I'd put them on as soon as I got to school, and leave the safe at home time.
The experience was delicious. Maybe it was better because I was doing it behind my parents back.
Had they allowed me to wear them, I would never have appreciated those moments in those shoes, as much as I did.
I probably wouldn't have the penchant I have now, for ridiculous, gorgeous, unwearable shoes.
That, quite honestly, would be awful. I love them, I surround myself with them; like works of art left all over the house.
I've decided to say 'no' to the eyeshadow.
The thrill she'll get, putting it on as she travels on the bus to school and removing it on the way back home, will be unforgettable.
I want her to have those little secrets.
She's such a good girl at school and at home. She deserves those exciting moments of rebellion, when you think that your Mum would go mad, if she knew.
When she's a grown woman, I know she will enjoy putting on her make-up. She will probably have drawers full of ridiculous coloured eyeshadow, that she'll never wear.
But, most of all, I hope she smiles to herself every time she picks one up, because it reminds her of a happy childhood.